Key Takeaway
Dismissing children in Stardew Valley requires access to the Witch’s Hut, only accessible after the “Dark Talisman” and “Goblin Problem” quests are completed.
Once inside the Witch’s Hunt, players can dismiss children at the Dark Shrine of Selfishness, on the left side of the room. You need one Prismatic Shard to permanently erase a child from your game world. Choose carefully, as this cannot be undone.
If you find yourself daydreaming about offering your little bundles of joy to the dark forces beyond, fear not! Stardew Valley offers a convenient solution for those parental regrets with the Witch’s Hut as your go-to destination for dismissing children.
Table Of Contents
Dismissing Children in Stardew Valley Video
Where to Dismiss Children in Stardew Valley
To dismiss children in Stardew Valley, you must first have some kids with your spouse. Then, complete a few pre-requisite quests. You’ll need access to the Witch’s Swamp and the Witch’s Hut.
This only becomes available once you’ve completed the Dark Talisman quest from the Wizard. Secondly, you’ll have to solve the case of the Witch’s Goblin Henchman guarding her swamp with the Goblin Problem quest.
These quests only become available once you’ve fully funded the soulless expansion of the Joja Corporation or completed the Community Center.
Dark Talisman
The Dark Talisman quest is the first stepping-stone to cross before dismissing your children. It’s initially requested by the Wizard, who wants to retrieve Magic Ink from his ex-wife’s house, but the route is blocked. Talk to Krobus in the Sewers and then venture into the nearby Mutant Bug Lair—the Talisman will be inside a Chest.
With the Talisman in hand, return to the Cave at the Railroad to unlock access to the Witch’s Swamp.
Goblin Problem
You’ll now find the route to the Witch’s Hut has another obstacle: a Goblin Henchman. Luckily, this dastardly guard has a weakness to Void Mayonnaise. Gift him a jar of the good stuff and he’ll gladly vacate his post. Now, you can access the Witch’s Hut with the pathway to parental freedom fully clear.
How to Dismiss Children in the Witch’s Hut
Once you’ve broken into the Witch’s Hut, there are three ominous-looking shrines: the Dark Shrine of Memory, the Dark Shrine of Night Terrors, and the Dark Shrine of Selfishness. The latter shrine is the one you want to focus on. The Dark Shrine of Selfishness is on the left side of the Witch’s Hut, adorned with two stone birds and unsettling yellow eyes.
To bid farewell to your children and transform them into doves, offer a Prismatic Shard to the Dark Shrine of Selfishness. With this sacrificial act, your children are permanently removed from the game and free to soar. However, through forces unseen, your children’s spirits may linger in peculiar ways…
NoteThe Repercussions of Dismissing Children in Stardew Valley
Surely using ancient dark magic to rid yourself of the burden of parenthood is a no-strings-attached affair, right? Well, not quite. After dismissing one or more children in Stardew Valley, some sinister easter eggs and events get unlocked.
Telephone Message
After dismissing your children, you may think all’s right with the world and continue life as normal. However, if you own a Telephone, you may randomly receive a call with the following message:
You place the receiver to your ear, and are met with a roiling, abrasive static. But wait…beneath it all, you can make out something else…an otherworldly voice…
Y-O-U / H-A-V-E / F-O-R-S-A-K-E-N / U-S.
This easter egg no longer happens after the cursed Ancient Doll leaves the television on Fall 26 and spawns in the Witch’s Hut.
Spirit’s Eve Haunting
If you happen to watch Television on Fall 26, the night before Spirit’s Eve where barriers between worlds are the thinnest, brace yourself for a chilling surprise.
Choosing the “???” option will display an Ancient Doll on-screen, with the following spooky message.
You’ve brought this upon yourself…now I’m free…Hee hee hee!
After putting the phone down, a haunted Ancient Doll will pop out of the TV—an omen of things to come. From here on out, a hostile, cursed Ancient Doll makes itself at home at the Dark Shrine of Selfishness, waiting. Once slain, it’ll transform into a raven and fly away. Exiting the Witch’s Hut and re-entering will cause the Ancient Doll to respawn every time.
WarningBut hey, every cloud has a silver lining, as defeating the Ancient Doll counts toward your “Monster Eradication Goal” and earns you XP to increase your Combat Skill. So, who’s the real winner here?
Never Alone
Should you summon the courage to face the Ancient Doll and dismiss even more children, there’s a 15% chance you’ll spot their dove forms soaring past The Summit. Look on the bright side—at least they’re together in the afterlife!
Harmless Fishing
You’re not even safe to cast your line! If you’re on the Four-Corners Farm (arguably the best farm layout in Stardew Valley), instead of a normal fish, you may accidentally catch an Ancient Doll while going about your day-to-day fishing. The bait you have on your fishing rod doesn’t matter, as the Ancient Doll can always snag your line. Consider this a permanent reminder of your parental choices, or lack thereof.
The lingering souls of your children will do everything in their power to stop you from making the same mistake twice when dismissing future offspring in Stardew Valley. You can’t even take out these terrifying toddler spirits like how you can kill ghosts! Who said parenting was easy?
